is it ?? real….


So another day has come but not yet gone.

all I do is wonder, worry, and plan

about, who, over what..

This I just do not know.

I love but I hate

I cry yet I am the cause

When do we know

when do we know  


will it be okay. Will I be back

Am i really back 

do i really care

do you really care

what is caring 

Do I love again

I just do not know 

sttore on german nhill

the love I have for you dad.. when I see the wedding picture im saddened by the way Donna is with me.. Dad I love you and you love her so I would not tell her off, but… it bugs me
you love me so much so how, you know i do know how she feels, I felt the same and I loved the person but hated the .. you get it.. at least I nipped the bud ..
she didn’t it was a long time she dealt with me being a hurricane…i was wrong in how i acted but if  lifestyle had been different i would have never done the things that they let me i know it was wrong to be crazy like i was…. but she was in a whirl wind too, enjoying the buzz, how dare she judge me how dare she !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What now OO back there again? oo damn ?

You think being free is easy, I have watched show after show of x cons being locked up and let out and the most scared  look I seen  through out the whole gosh darn show is when they were being let out and it shouldn’t be that way.

You know why they were scared , no one prepared them for the Gosh DARN OUTSIDE THEY WERE THROWN OUT THERE AND EXPECTED TO MAKE IT.. and here is the kicker by doing the thing the only thing they know how.. Hustle aka break the fucking law.. How will they eat after the last at least 4 5 years they had been fed at a certain time. Now they must feed them selves. And the better find work fast cause the 45 bucks they get for being an inmate longer than 2 years is gonna be gone soon.. Than what.. Rob someone sell drugs.. They are getting hungry, is this really better than being locked up.. To the Con, sadly no it is not.. They have no clue how to survive out here being a honset person. and lets face it who really is honest and its all in who you know.. and if you know no one than what …



the pic was where i stayed for 18 months out of my 5


Now let me say this.. I have something exciting for you to read… I wrote this from pure emotion at work… It’s random and just what was written as I sat there waiting for  my next call to come through .. I have not read it yet as I write it on here I am reading it for the first time, but I will not change any-thing, this came from my inner soul, no thinking only writing what came to mind

Well I am here at work, I want to be very successful here I do not want to fail the woman next to me just got a hit DAMN IT .. That is so f’d up she got a hit or hit the board I should say and I can’t even get an appointment..! Plus I keep hanging up on people by accident.. I neet to get a success . So disappointed .. Hell yeah GOT ME ONE.. WOO HOO.. And I hope that it hits the damn board..Damn that woman beside me said she has five appointments ( a success ) .. I only have one … 😦  well I’ll just step up my damn game.. It will make time go by fast too .. he he I’m a fucking clown huh ….Because besides writing this to make time go by I am going to put it in my gosh darn BLOG and call it

work – time – blues 

I don’t think any of my appointments even went through the credit check damn man…

Uh oo I just got me another one hell yeah that makes 4 now not bad for it only being 7:00.. Earlier I said in here ( this piece of writing ) that I hate this job I really do not it’s not bad ..With the help of the ALL MIGHTY I will get through.. I just hope to get plenty of appointments set up.. I just wish time went by faster it’s 740 and I have 6 so I’m almost at my goal I set for my-self, which is ten..I wish I had something else to do like data entry or something I am dyeing to write..

10 mins till break than i have 2 hours till i go home can I make 10 appointments today ..We will see..!!

uggg it’s 927 I am ready to get the fuck outta here ….

well I made my ten and that mad my night better.. It’s not how miserable you were the whole night it’s how fast the last hour goes that makes your day good or shitty !!!

It hits me like a rock !!!!

Since this stupid new computer that actually kicks ass does not have a writing program my lap-top and the other desk top had, now my book is a little screwed.. But really no problem. We are going to print segments and I will re-write them so they can be edited, and don’t worry the plot is safe then. Yeah editing it by hand gives it more of the artist hand in it, and isn’t that what I really want. Than it’s much more up in my face. I can feel the words speaking to me and actually make sure the words are what the universe wants in my book, which I hope can help others.. Which besides the fact that ppl will be reading my art that is what I really want from this book. I want all you people out there who do not give a person out of prison or maybe someone who looks like a criminal a chance.. This book lets you into the world of a man who is yes an X con but the key letter is X.. No one wants to give people like me a try. ( even though I look nothing like a criminal)

Really that is also the point in this good old blog.. Anyone who reads my work or speaks to me likes me it’s a given. And it hits me like a rock when I see that ? on applications that I must fill out on-line. Yes that is right the old felony question.. Than u know what happens after that the application is not even taken seriously.. And that my followers is why you must look at the heart and take a risk. Australlia was a prison colony and look at them now ..

It hits me like a rock !!!!